Valid or Offensive?

[Jude40]

Hi I'm back

I'm not entirely sure whether this fits here and its away from the religion point, plus I'm not entirely sure its a discussion topic more just a comment but hey I'm gonna say it anyway.

I went on to fanpop 'cos they often have good spoliers and stuff there (I promised I wasn't gonna read them this timearound but that just ain't gonna happen) and there is a question there about who is prettier Emily Deschanel or Jamie Bergman.

Now I know that Jamie 1. Most likely doesn't read that stuff and 2. Is happily married to a gorgeous bloke with a lovely family so probably doesn't give a sh**, but I do find that question offensive 'cos it has nothing to do with 'Bones' and its obvious what the response is gonna be (I mean its a Bones fan site) so its just an excuse for a bit of a verbal assassination (to be fair one person does kinda make this point on there).

I had a look at the answers to back the point up and one person actually referred to Jamie as plastic. Ok this is tame compared to some of the things I've seen said in the past but I still find the whole thing a bit offensive (although the people involved are entitled to have a point of view I just feel uncomfortable when stuff gets personal like that I think its 'cos I know I wouldn't be very happy if I read something like that about me).

Just had to get that off my chest.

Catch you later

Jude

[ThyneAlone]

Jude, I know you originally posted this under the debate thread, and I would have quite liked it to continue as a separate debate within that thread, but I thought it might be confusing and is not so much about how individual viewers see 'Bones' the show. So after much thought I separated it off as a discrete issue.

Is it valid for fans to know about and comment on the private lives, behaviour and indeed appearance of the 'Bones' cast? Do they give this entitlement when they become well-known and popular? Does it add to our appreciation of the show (as in, maybe DB plays convincing RC because he believes in it, Hart will portray bipolar well because of his direct experience with EM)? Or is it insulting and offensive (as in Jude's example, which might give hurt and embarrassment)?

Easy to make this one more general. Stick to Bones where you can. I want to refer to Amber Benson's experience with all those cruel weight comments by Buffy viewers, but I know not everyone will be aware of that!

Thanks Jude for bringing up this interesting and contentious point. I think I know where our fairly private TJ would stand on it.

[Jude40]

Steph, its cool that you posted this as a separate discussion.

I think that if its just the usual general statistical stuff that's common knowledge then thats fine or equally if the person divulges info then again no problem. I've seen a few interviews with David B and he comes across as quite open, for instance he talks about his religion, ice hockey (a lot!) and his family (when he announced the impending addition to his family I did have an ahhhhh moment!)

I think that is sometimes where the problem lies though that being open sometimes blurs a line about what is acceptable and what is not. For instance I saw a picture of David, Jamie and their son returning from a holiday and my immediate thought was how miserable he was (as in whats he got to be so miserable about) but then when I thought about it I realised that if I'd just got of a plane with my pregnant wife (not that I'd have a pregnant wife of course but you know what I mean!) and my young son I probably wouldn't want cameras shoved in my face. I immediately realised that much as I love reading stuff about everyone in 'Bones' because I love the show and have a curious (not nosey, curious!) nature, that they are not public property, they have private lives which should be respected.

TJ does come across as a fairly private person, although conversely he does interact on social networking sites and I have sent comments on occasion about Bones and Theatre Junkies stuff, when he has sought comment, although I don't expect a response 'cos its from a fan point of view obviously not friendship 'cos I don't know him.

I think that if you are in the public eye then you would expect some curiousity about your life but I still think there is a difference between curiosity and invasiveness and I do think that Jamie Bergman especially gets some very unwarranted and sometimes outright nasty attention.

Maybe it doesn't always bother those affected but I just think its out of order after all at the end of the day they are just doing a job like you or me and I wouldn't like to be followed and have my life analysed or my appearance criticised at regular intervals.

Anyway that was longer than intended but you know me never use one word when ten will do.

Catch you later

Jude x

[Jude40]

Hi

I just remembered another example of what I'm talking about, a while back I remember seeing a comment from someone somewhere (a bit vague but I've had a few sleeps since) saying that they noticed Emily Deschanel had put on weight and was she pregnant!

I mean firstly Emily is not skinny (as in like a stick) (refreshingly) but putting on weight?????? Secondly if she was pregnant and wanted people to know she'd say but most importantly phrasing the question in that way is just majorly wrong on every level. I mean to the ladies on the site how mortified would you be if someone said that about you (or maybe that's just me).

I do know that someone I used to work with congratulated one of the girls on her pregnancy once when she wasn't and the words 'going down like a lead balloon' come to mind.

Anyway I digress I just thought this was another example of what I was talking about.

And btw I'm not saying I've never made an inappropriate comment about someone from 'Bones' or otherwise 'cos I probably have although never intentionally to cause offence its easy to do things without thinking sometimes.

Jude x

[brooke34]

Okay, here's my two cents, and y'all are probably going to laugh because it's not like I keep my opinions to myself very often, but I think anyone who has something nasty to say in a public forum about the personal appearance of somebody who doesn't necessarily put themselves in the public eye needs to put a sock in it, posthaste. DB's wife is what, 13 months pregnant? She's getting ready to pop out a kid. She doesn't need that kind of aggravation. And what was the point of the original comment anyway? (Not the comment of the person that posted here, the comment they were referring to. If that makes sense.) "Tee hee, we think Emily's prettier than Jaime! Maybe DB will read this and realize he and Emily were meant to be and he'll throw over his wife and children and run away with Emily instead and OMG IT'LL BE JUST LIKE THE SHOW LIFE IMITATES ART B/B 4EVA OMG EEEEE WE ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN!"

And so on. It's Bones, not Twilight, for God's sake. My tolerance for the B/B ship is low enough at this point. I don't need to think about whether or not the actors are longing for one another too.

People are going to wonder about things. If we see a picture of someone, we may have a thought or two about their personal appearance, yes. Or we may see a picture of someone and wonder if they are pregnant. But I am so glad this board is not the kind of place where that sort of crap passes as the height of wit.

End rant.

Exeunt.

[Sinkwriter72]

Sing it, Hillarie!

Seriously, spot on.

[ThyneAlone]

I guess that as a balance we ought to look at the other side of the coin. OK, the issue with Jaime is straightforward - because DB is her chief claim to fame, whatever she may have done previously. But people like DB himself who have actually put themselves in the public eye and who owe their pay packets to the loyal people who watch them, should they not take the interest for granted? Fans are going to be curious about those they admire. The media is going to intrude to satisfy that curiosity. It is inevitable in our world of amazing technological communications. Maybe in the past the media left the royal family in peace. Maybe there was a certain respectful distance kept to maintain the illusion of the fond family lives of the movie stars of the forties. Not now.

[MariaDiaper]

I want to refer to Amber Benson's experience with all those cruel weight comments by Buffy viewers, but I know not everyone will be aware of that!

I'm actually aware of this, and felt so sad for poor Amber - I thought it was refreshing to see a curvy girl on Buffy! (Sorry only butted in to say that )