Offtopic Sofa Time

New arrivals, including the hello threads and the sofa.
hanneDK
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by hanneDK »

I'm back.... :-)
Sorry for my very very long absence - work, life took over..

Vero, I am sorry to hear that you are going through some bad things at the moment. If you want to talk, let me know. I am here for you. I hope it will all work out in the end.
Sherry, congratulations on your own appartment.. Strange, right?!

Simone, happy Anniversary of your membership :-)

Okay.. as you all know I got a job earlier this year working as a sub for a shipping company, where my contract was only to be for 2 month but after 3 weeks got renewed for to the end fo the year.
Yesterday I got permanent employment - my boss had spoken about it earlier but we could never find any time to finish my contract, however we managed to do it yesterday.. I am so happy that I got it! They are still impressed of my work ethic, and my desire to learn new things.

That was the good news.. here comes the sad news... :-(
For those who follow me on twitter/FB has seen/read that my mom has been hospitalized since November 13.
She was admitted due to her infection numbers (blood) kept rising. The doctors suspected her chaterter was the reason.. We all thought that she would be discharged after a week or two but no. Some fluid in her abdomen had formed - they couldn't figure out where it came from - they took some test which showed some cell changes.
In her 3rd week she got very sick during a dialysis (it turned out that the antibiotic was the cause), she was rushed through a scan where the doctors found cancer and volvulus.. they can't operate the volvulus because of the cancer is so spread out through her bowel. Chemo to cure the cancer is a no, because in order to receive chemo, you have to have functional kidneys.

To sum it all up, my mum is dying slowly.. we don't know how long she has left - a week, a month?.. She's in this world on borrowed time. We take turns on visiting her at the hospital.
It's so f***** hard.. She's coping on antibiotic and morphine.
One of the worst things in all of this, is that her sisters and brother all died of some sort of cancer.. which means that I could be in the risk.. knowing that scares the shit out of me.. so I am going to the doctor next year, to find out what possibilities I have to get checked out.

HOwever my mom is coming home Monday or Tuesday, in order to spendt her remaining days with loved ones. Although each other day she has to go back to the hospital, in order to receive 4 hours of dialysis.
My only wish this year is that she will make it through Christmas and New year..

My dad, brother and his family and myself are mentally exhausted. I am so proud of my brother to be so very strong for all of us.. I try to stay strong for them as well but it's hard.
Dad is getting better for each day - accepting that he is about to become a widower, and has to figure out on how to do normal things - like cooking, laundry etc., chores my mom always has done.

To finish this post, I would like to say a big thank you for the support I have received only, it means a lot. And I will try to come around more often - but with that is happening and being in front of a computer 10-12 hrs every day (work), so turning on my laptop is not a priority when I get home.
I love you all and miss you.. ;-) :romance-grouphug:
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TJ4ever
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by TJ4ever »

So sorry about your mom, Hanne! *hugs*
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cutenebula
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by cutenebula »

Oh Hanne...
Thank you so much for your kind words. And I'm so so sad to read about your mom. As you know, if you need to talk, feel free, I'm here too.
Big big hugs
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stargazer
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by stargazer »

I'm so sorry Hanne, I know there are no words that can help but we are all here for you. I hope you can get the most of the time you still have with your mom. :romance-grouphug:
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ThyneAlone
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by ThyneAlone »

Oh Hanne, I was so happy to read about your job, but the news about your mother cane as a horrible shock, as I don't have social media and haven't been able to send you my love previously.

I am desperately sad that this is happening to you and your family and cannot imagine what you are all going through. Please do feel that you can lean on us at any time, you know how we all love you.
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cutenebula
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by cutenebula »

Wishing you all a beautiful time with your beloved ones :romance-grouphug:

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skftex
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by skftex »

Hi everyone. Hanne sent me a message today about her Mom. Her mom did get to have a good Christmas at home but she is now back in the hospital. Hanne and her dad are staying at the hospital with her. She said they are expecting her to go at any time. I did tell her that we are all thinking of her and sending her hugs. Very sad time for our Hanne. :(
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stargazer
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by stargazer »

Oh no! We're all definitely here for Hanne. I'm glad her mom got to have Christmas with her family. :(
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hanneDK
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by hanneDK »

I don't know what to say or start.. :-(

First of all I like to thank you all, amazing ladies, for your heartwarming comments, they mean a lot to me. I am so gratefull to have you ladies at my side in this time of great sadness.

Thank you Sharon for making the post on my behalf Sunday evening (for me it was), after a few hours (3:40 am) my mom passed away.. I had fallen asleep and woke up 2 and noticed that something was off - I couldn't hear my mom's breathing (through out the day she had difficulties to breathe). I won't go into details.. but I found her, alerted the staff and my dad..
She had at that time been gone a few mintues.. tried to find a pulse but I could see that there were nothing I could do.
We left the hospital around 10 am, after the doctors had done their job in documenting her death (whatever doctors have to do).. During the time we spoke to various staff, even the doctor - it was so hard, my dad broke several times but what to expect for a man who has spend the last 42 yrs of his life with such a wonderfull woman, as my mom was.

Today we had a meeting with the undertaker about all the various details about ther funeral, legal stuff, and he was surprisingly very comfortable to talk to. He certainly knew how to handle such a difficult time.
On Friday we are going to speak to the priest in the parish in which my dad and mom lives in, and also visit the church, arrange flowers and the stone.
Her funeral is set for friday next week - it's going to be so hard to say goodbye to her and carrying her on her last journey from the church to the hurse.

I am costantly tired and I don't eat much, not that hungry :-( I know I have to take care of myself in order to have the strenght through all of this and especially when I return back to work.

Again, I want to thank you all so much. I love you all!
Hugs, Hanne
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skftex
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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Hanne, I'm very sorry for your loss. All my love.

Sharon
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stargazer
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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I'm so very sorry Hanne. :sad:
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ThyneAlone
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by ThyneAlone »

There is nothing I can say in comfort for such a loss, Hanne, the experience is different for every single person and we have to get through it as best we can. Hopefully we can help you to be strong. My most heartfelt sympathies to you and your family - and very much love.
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TJ4ever
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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So sorry about your loss, Hanne!
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ThyneAlone
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by ThyneAlone »

Hi all,
I have neglected you shamefully again. I had anticipated updating you over a nice calm break from work last week - and I am of course managing to get those reviews up again, that's something I guess - but fate struck again and the various leg problems that have bedevilled me intermittently over the last 5 years or so made it a very difficult 'holiday'. Basically I went through 3 days of not being able to walk because my knee and back were so painful and stiff. Fortunately, by Monday it had eased off a bit and I was able to get back to work, since when it has felt pretty much normal once more. I have even been able to run upstairs; last week that would have been an agonising step-by-step hobble. This time, however, I didn't dismiss it as I previously had in the past (stupid stupid) and went to consult my doctor. In the past I have had appointments but nothing much has come of it - strong painkillers, an X-ray that demonstrated 'pre'-osteoarthritis but couldn't really recommend further treatment - nothing very helpful.

The doctor says it is likely I have sciatica in tandem with arthritis and even possible cartilage issues!! Wonderful! Apart from the obvious on my part - lose weight, walk around to stay active and take light exercise - she is referring me to a physiotherapist and sending me for X-ray again with the hope that the results can be acted on this time. That'll teach me to ignore physical deterioration until it becomes an urgent priority.

There had been a very positive start to the week, as we had managed to see some very old friends we haven't been in touch with for ages, buy a car for son no.2 to use and get quite a few important jobs done. However, things slid slowly downhill as we eased towards the return to school. Son no.1 looks to have broken up with a lovely girlfriend who was doing his low self-esteem a power of good, but at the same time realised that he can't go on feeling miserable and void of confidence all the time and has finally been referred for counselling. The Beloved came down from the euphoria of achieving his list of jobs for the week (I am almost sure he has bipolar tendencies), became very nervous about writing his resignation letter (he has decided to retire this year but is recoiling from such a huge undertaking after 30 years in the same workplace) and suffered both an episode of inexplicable and violent rage and, later, a panic attack on the motorway within a week. Both of which have previously been signposts to periods of depression. So I am not a happy bunny and very wrapped up in family issues, but I know I can always rely on you lot for understanding and a shoulder. :romance-smileyheart: Take care out there.
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ThyneAlone
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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This sofa is still mighty comfortable but I can't help seeing a certain amount of dust on it, probably because everyone is involved with their particular life problems - there have been some real issues here lately. I notice I am talking to myself today! Got to let you know I still think of you all and trust things are wending in a more hopeful direction. In the meantime, well, I'm on a brief vacation from school and my pals are due an update. Not that much to tell. Son no.2 has started his course for his next set of soccer coaching qualifications and both hubby and son no.1 are still awaiting their first face-to-face counselling appointments. They are not priority, not having had suicidal thoughts. It's been a few weeks now so hopefully they will both get something soon. They have been in quite dark places occasionally of late.

Despite the new part-time régime I started at school back in September, life is still pretty hectic and pressured! It was very liberating to begin with, but then the recently-qualified, brilliant German colleague I have been gifted with and set to mentor (he is half-German and between us we are managing to revitalise the language at the school) needed help to put together an entire new scheme of work – not an easy undertaking - and, as a staff in general, we've all begun to feel increasing administrative pressure because an inspection is overdue! I am hoping against hope that they don’t decide to inspect in the summer term while the stress is up to the max with public exams.

I'm very slowly finding out the various ways in which my body is deciding to fall apart. My anti-convulsant medication has already weakened my tooth enamel considerably. Whether it has done anything to hasten the progress of the now-diagnosed ‘moderate arthritis’ in my right knee is a matter of debate, but I do know that in other people it has sped up the development of osteoporosis. The GP had already sent me for physio regarding back pain which may or may not be sciatica, and now I am being sent for more physio for the knee! Yet again it is taking ages to get an appointment, as there has been some confusion about this being a second referral for something different. But I am getting regular lumbar physio now, and that is helping. The whole business has slowed me up considerably at work, as I do a fair amount of stair-climbing, and it’s not the kind of thing you expect at my age, though I have to confess I am not the least obese and unhealthy person in the world (maybe I should lay off the cheese and chocolate!) I also suspect there may be soft tissue damage, since my family has leanings towards cartilage problems. Ho hum. I guess at least I haven’t had any major traumas, physical or emotional.

This holiday has been chiefly dedicated to getting all my files up to date and seeing pupils who need and, encouragingly, are prepared to have, a little extra individual tuition. Not exactly a break, I hear you saying, but I will be accompanying hubby away to the Lake District for a few days next week - he is doing some exam board work up there and it seemed too good a chance to miss. I'm looking forward to it, as it's an area I don't know very well.

Here's something Sharon will appreciate, being a fellow connoisseur of musicals; my lovely son no.2 has just bought me the DVD of the Sound of Music as an Easter gift. Better than chocolate - though, as I think I have mentioned, I got some of that too! Apparently the disc has a karaoke extra, so I'm going to have fun annoying the Y chromosome elements in the house. Maybe we can sing it together next time we are in the chatbox!. But do remember, all of you, that you are some of MY 'favourite things', keep up the posting and stay sane.

Love and hugs as ever to you.
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skftex
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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Steph, love that you received The Sound of Music for Easter! I haven't seen that in a few years, I always seem to miss it when they show it on TV. But then I hate watching movies on broadcast TV, too many commercials!

I should have read this post again yesterday, just realized that it you are off this week, not last week! :-o :(
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ThyneAlone
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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If you were at the chat you will know that Sharon had a bit of a panic :-o because she arranged the chat while I was away and it was pure luck that I was back in time for it! I only knew about it a few hours in advance so that was very fortunate and a nice surprise. :-D

We've been away for a few days to Carlisle, which is up in the Lake District area. Despite some erratic weather it has been a very welcome break. Hubby was booked to go up there because he had work to do for the exam board - he is a drama moderator, which basically means that as part of the exam team you go into various allocated schools and watch a sample of their exam performances to check whether their teacher is marking in accordance with exam criteria. So I stowed away on board so we could have a couple of days exploring the town. It has a castle, a cathedral, a city wall walk, a beautiful old church, a fascinating art gallery/museum, fantastic restaurants and some of the nicest, most hospitable residents I have ever met. Also a very good and vibrant shopping centre which I investigated while hubby was working! Whether it was good for my ailing knee I don't know (though I suspect yes - arthritic joints need exercise or they seize up), but it was very good for the soul and the retail therapy!
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Sinkwriter72
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

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Sharon, I didn't know where else to say this so I'll just put it here... I'm loving the TJ photo on the home page! Casual yet very handsome.

Sorry I've been so absent lately, everyone! I've moved out of my aunts' home and into an apartment of my own (yay!) and have spent the last so many months going through boxes of my stuff that's been in storage for several years, trying to go through each item and say, "I don't need this anymore, I can get rid of it, sell it, donate it, etc., and keep only the most sentimental and special of things." I'm trying to pare down to essentials and the most wonderful stuff that makes me smile and remember special times.

Beyond that... well, exciting stuff! Now that I've graduated (whoo!), I've been working as a web site designer on a contract basis, which has been wonderful. I'm learning a lot and I love my boss. She's so knowledgeable and really teaches me not only to better my skills as a designer but also show me some of the business side of it all.

So, in the spirit of doing some freelance web design business on the side while still working for my awesome boss, I've recently submitted registration for my freelance web design business name. You basically have to fill out a form, pay a fee and submit it all with the local courthouse, and then pay to post a notice in the local newspaper, declaring your new business. That way, I guess, people can come out of the woodwork and say, "Hey, you can't have that business name! I already use it for my business!" But the woman from the local small business association giving me advice said I'm not likely to have that happen to me because I'm essentially using my own name as a business name right now so unless someone else has exactly the same name as me and also has a web design business, I should be fine. And if someday I decide I want to broaden my business name to something more than just my own name, I can always change it later down the road. But for now, I'm starting small and seeing how it goes. The woman at the business association was very helpful with giving me basic business advice, and said that once I get my business name registered and my own website up to date, she's happy to start referring customers to me (she says they get people asking their organization if they know anyone who does web design, so if they get more inquiries, I could end up with some clients!).

My main thing right now is to sit down and decide what on earth I'm going to offer as far as services I can provide to customers, and what I'll charge. That's such a tough thing for me. I think as a creative person I'm usually more focused on the design stuff, the making of creative works, and can't fathom putting a price on my efforts. But I'm going to have to do that. It's a little scary! And difficult. But I do have my boss to help me; she has offered me great advice and I've learned a lot, watching her deal with customers and having her let me practice how to give customers quotes for their web design requests. I just have to take a deep breath and decide what *I* can and can't do right now, and what I'll charge for it.

That's basically what's new with me! :D

How's everyone else doing? :romance-smileyheart:
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skftex
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by skftex »

Hi Sherry!

I really like those two pictures of TJ-the one on the homepage and the other one that is more of a headshot. In case you couldn't tell. HAHA The homepage was looking a little dull so I thought I'd stick that up there.

Yay for your small business! I'm sure you'll rock it!
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Sinkwriter72
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Re: Offtopic Sofa Time

Post by Sinkwriter72 »

Blue always looks nice on him, so you made excellent choices, Sharon. :D
skftex wrote:Yay for your small business! I'm sure you'll rock it!
Thanks, Sharon! I had a phone conference call with the woman from a small business association this morning, and she answered a lot more of my questions and gave me helpful suggestions based on some of her own experiences as a former web designer. It was very encouraging. So even though it's scary for me to take this step and declare "This is what I offer, and this is what I charge for that," it's still pretty exciting to give it a go.

:happy-cheerleadersmileyguy:

I really appreciate your support!!
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